Do You Have Dry Cleaning? June 26, 2008

Most of you probably know that I work in a grocery store.  Last week I was talking to someone I work with and she told me that some guy came into the store with his suit and asked her ‘Do you have dry cleaning here?’  Wow.  The store is big, but it never would have crossed my mind to think a grocery store would have dry cleaning.

The day before this happened, someone came through my line and asked me if we had a service where you could call ahead with your grocery list and someone would shop for you.  Then you could come and pick up your groceries.  Nope, don’t have that either.  If you call ahead with a deli or sub shop order, they can have that all ready for you, but not your entire list of groceries.

I must say that it was a strange week.

Five Pounds of What?! June 8, 2008

I just thought I would share something funny about work.  There’s a certain kind of potato that comes in a five pound bag.  When I ring it up on the register it says ‘5# Idaho Pot’.   It makes me laugh every time.  Then when the receipt prints out, it says ‘5# Idaho Pot’ on the receipt.  I’m very curious as to who decided that, and why.  I’m guessing whoever did it has a sense of humor.  Either that or my mind just works in ways other people’s don’t.  My siblings found this very entertaining as well.

Calculus and Other Classes June 3, 2008

The Room Cleaning Project continued today and the highlight of the morning was throwing away all of my various junk from the past semester.  I had about five notebooks of stuff to rifle through, and most of it wound up in the recycling bag.  However, I found a few somewhat humorous tests and quizzes that I thought I would post here.  They’re not as funny as Tortilla’s responses, but I’ll post them anyway.

First, here’s a sample of notes from my history class.  This was United States history, which I should point out has been drilled into my head every year since first grade.  I had a 100 average in this class in high school, so you would think that I might get exempt from it in college.  But no, I had to sit through a semester of US history.  Which I might point out focused mainly on slavery.  Seriously, that was all we learned about the whole semester.  Anyway, back to the notes.  I only had about four or five pages of notes for the whole semester, since I stopped taking them a week into the class.  We didn’t have tests so I didn’t see the point.  Notice the large amounts of drawings on the page.  Most of my notes look like this.  I might point out that I wound up with an A in the class.

Next, here is a quiz from my English class.  I hardly ever did the readings (see what a dedicated student I am?) because I noticed that my grades did not increase if I did the readings.  This was one of the last quizzes we had.  Question three is the one I am posting this picture for.

And this is another English quiz.  It had been a group quiz and somebody else came up with the ‘ratifying inventor’ part, but I thought it was funny so I put it on my quiz too.

Now onto Calculus.  I have a feeling that my professor used up a couple red pens on my papers throughout the semester.  This first one is my worst grade in the class.  It’s blurry, but it says 7/20 at the top.  You can clearly see all the effort I put into writing down a bunch of bullshit in the hopes of scraping a few points.

Here’s an example of how my BS didn’t even get me one measly point.  I think I should have gotten at least one point just for effort.  On the first question, my professor wrote ‘does not follow’.

This comment was written quite often on my tests and quizzes.  Whenever I didn’t know how to do the problem I’d just put it in my calculator and write down that answer.  My prof didn’t like that.

When in doubt, just write down the formula.  It’s bound to get you a point.  It worked here.  Gotta love the question mark.  It’s amazing  that she knew exactly what I was thinking when I tried to do the problem.

Last but not least, one of the bonus questions on a test.  She wrote ‘how did you get this?’  I have no idea how I got that.  I’m pretty sure I just guessed.  Must have worked because I got 2 points.

That’s all for this past semester.  Most of my classes either didn’t have tests or had multiple choice tests, which make it hard to give witty responses.  Sometime I’ll have to type up the story of the practice English Regents I took in 11th grade.  That was funny.

The Things You’ll Find June 2, 2008

In preparation for the carpet project (see previous post), I have decided to thoroughly clean out my room.  I figure the more stuff I get rid of now the less I’ll have to move when we get the new carpet.  As I was rifling through the various detritus from the past few years it became obvious how long it had been since I performed such a task.

Buried in a pile of various electronics chargers was my GameBoy Color.  I haven’t played this in ages.  Inside of it was my Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets game.

Along the same lines, I also found my Bop It Extreme.  I remember when they came out with the first Bop It when I was in elementary school.  Someone brought one to recess and we all played it.  My parents didn’t want me to get one since they can become very annoying to listen to.  Then they came out with the Bop It Extreme and I asked my aunt for it for Christmas.  She got it for me.

Even more interesting was the various junk from school.  I found a few binders full of various papers from junior and senior year of high school.  That was 2 and 3 years ago, which shows how long it’s been since I cleaned my closet.  I found a report card from junior year, my SAT admissions ticket, cards from my 16th birthday (junior year), my temporary learner’s permit, film negatives from photography class, my entire math binder from senior year (which got dumped in the recycling shortly after I found it), my senior research paper, and my first ever piece of fan fiction.  This was actually a school assignment.  In junior year I had to write a fan fic about Of Mice and Men. I looked at the grade and I got a 95 on it and my teacher wrote ‘This is great!  Wonderful job.’  I am sure that is the only assignment that I got that written on it.  Most of the assignments that year were essays about boring books that I never got above a 90 on.

Another relic I found that got unceremoniously dumped in the recycling was my chemistry review book.  This was from junior year.

Along with my Chemistry reference tables.

And last but not least my US History review book from senior year.

Believe it or not these were not the most interesting items I found.  I also found my journal from Creative Writing in senior year.  I really liked that class because I enjoy writing as long as it’s something I want to write about.  I rifled through it and found multiple story ideas and various poems.  I’ll highlight a few here, but am going to save most for future posts.  My favorite one by far was from May 1, 2006.  It’s a list of stuff I didn’t like on that particular day.

-George Bush                       -Homework                         -Traffic Jams

-Getting up early                  -Regents Exams                  -This assignment

-Gas prices (this made me    -Freshmen boys (my bro     -Slow people in the halls

laugh, gas was just under      was a freshman that year)   -Middle schoolers

$3 at that point)                    -Slow Computers                 -People who walk on the wrong side of the hall

-Double physics                   -School laptops                    -Gym class

I am not sure what the purpose of that assignment was.  I didn’t even know what it was a list of until I read it.

Another favorite is this-

‘I would love to see George Bush put in jail.  I think he is one of the worst presidents.  He has done illegal stuff like domestic spying and the CIA leak, but he hasn’t been impeached.’

That’s all for now.  I’ll post more of my journal at some point.  Stay tuned for further updates on the room cleaning as well.

Bang For Your Buck May 28, 2008

Last night my dad decided to order cell phones for my bro and one of my sisters.  My sister wants the Sony Walkman and it costs $30.  She was willing to pay for it because she wants an MP3 player and $30 is pretty cheap for an MP3 player.  My bro found some kind of fancy phone for free and was trying to convince my sister to look at free music player phones.  She agreed to look and found one that looked nice but my brother didn’t think it was as nice as his.  Hence the conversation that followed.

Bro-  You don’t want that one.  Get this other one, it’s cheaper.

Dad-  But they’re both free.

Bro-  Yeah, but with this one you get more bang for your non-existent buck.

Nevertheless, my sister went with the Walkman.  But my dad had to upgrade our plan first and can’t order the phones until the new plan kicks in in June.

New Way to Report Power Outages May 26, 2008

We got a postcard in the mail the other day informing us of a new way to report power outages.  You know what it said?  Go to www.nyseg.com to report outages.  Right.  Next time the power’s out at my house, I’ll power up my computer and let them know…

On the same subject, my dad told me that if you go to the NY state website, there’s a button to click that says ‘Request a copy of your Birth or Death Certificate’.  I am not sure if they’ve fixed that yet.

He’ll Take the Chemistry May 23, 2008

My brother wants to take both AP Chemistry and AP Biology next year.  I personally think he’s out of his mind, but he’s good at science so he can probably do it.  However, the classes might take place at the same time.  Since he does not own a Time-Turner, he’ll have to choose.  Up until now he had been very undecided.  On the way home from graduation he told us that he wants to take Chemistry.  Here’s how the conversation went.

Bro-  The AP Bio kids are dissecting a fetal pig tomorrow.

Me-  Ew, that’s disgusting.

Bro-  Yeah, so I think I’ll do the Chemistry.

All Prepared for Finals… May 12, 2008

Today was the last history class before my final.  The final involves writing one essay.  There are 5 essays that the professor assigned 6 weeks ago.  We had to write 1 page of notes front/back for each.  The professor isn’t telling us which essay we’re going to have to write until the day of the final.  My notes are all done.  It probably took me 15 hours all together.

Today in class, the professor let us ask questions about the final.  One of the essays is about the Industrial Revolution, which was called the Market Revolution in our book.  A few people were a bit confused about this.  Then one guy decided to demonstrate exactly how much he learned this semester.

Professor:  The Industrial Revolution is just another name for the Market Revolution.

Student:  So, is that the one with the Stamp Act and the Sugar Act?

It was all I could do not to laugh at that one.  He is definitely all prepared for the exam on Wednesday.

My New Favorite Bushism… April 29, 2008

Today, our lovely president was talking about high gas prices.  Being someone who lives in an area where gas prices are above average, I am very sick of paying so much to drive my car.  I got gas on Sunday and paid $3.65 per gallon, which was a sale price.  There are a few stations near me that have gas sales on a certain day of the week.  I try to buy my gas whenever there is a sale.  It cost me $44 to fill up on Sunday and it wasn’t even a full tank.  My tank is 18.5 gallons and I did the math today and found out with the current prices, it would cost me about $67 to fill up my whole tank!  Most stations near me are at $3.70 for regular and a few stations have supreme for over $4.  I’m so glad there’s only 3 more weeks left in the semester.  Once school is over I won’t have to drive as much.  And next year I’ll be living on campus so I’ll hardly be driving at all.

Anyway, back to Bush.  Today he said, while talking about gas prices, “I firmly believe that, you know, if there was a magic wand to wave, I’d be waving it, of course.”  I just started laughing.  Of all the things to say about gas prices, that’s what he said?  Of course he’d be waving a magic wand.  If we could just wave a wand to decrease gas prices, I wouldn’t even be driving anywhere.  I’d be Apparating to school and work and I wouldn’t even need a car to begin with.  I do believe that this has become my new favorite Bush quote.  It has surpassed my other favorite,  “It’s getting harder and harder for gynecologists to practice their love for women in this country.”

All I can say is, I can’t wait until January 20, 2009.

Nickels Can Add Up April 27, 2008

Spring has sprung.  Well, we kind of skipped Spring and went straight to Summer here.  It’s been 70-80 degrees the past couple weeks, with hardly any rain.  It’s very strange, considering we usually don’t go 3 or 4 days without rain.  But whatever.  It’s now warm enough to open the moon roof in my car, Benny has started shedding off his winter coat, and the dandelions are in full bloom.

Ah, yes, the little yellow weeds that send many people running for chemicals to wage an all-out war against a small, but resilient flower.   My entire neighborhood  is  filled with people who hate  dandelions.  The little yellow signs that warn you of chemicals are all over the place.  Except my yard, of course.  My family does not feel the need to spread hazardous chemicals throughout the already hurt environment.  But that’s a rant for another  post.

The dandelions reminded me of a very profitable venture I participated in when I was much younger.  I must have been only 10 or 11.  My dad wanted to get rid of the dandelions, but not use any chemicals.  So he had the brilliant idea of paying my siblings and I to pick them all out of the yard.  For a nickel each.  I’m sure he thought this was a great idea to rid the yard of yellow weeds without having to do it himself or pay much money for it to be done.  However, nickels can add up.  Either he vastly miscalculated the number of dandelions in our yard, or he underestimated how much time 4 kids could spend picking weeds out of a yard for money.

By the time I finished picking the dandelions, I had picked enough to earn me somewhere between $30 and $40.  A nice profit for a 10 year old.  My bro made about the same, or a little more.  One of my sisters made around $20 or $30, and my other sister who was only about 3 at the time made $10 or so.  Needless to say, he never asked us to pick the dandelions again, even when we offered to lower the cost of each dandelion to only a penny.

A week later, our yard was once again filled with the little yellow weeds that we have surrendered to.  Never again has anyone in my family tried to get rid of the dandelions.  They are just starting to bloom now and soon our yard will be the only yellow covered one, in a sea of perfectly groomed and manicured suburban lawns.